A Movie Review
I have seen some terrible movies in my time. Independence Day, Armageddon, Titanic, The Departed…the list goes on. But tonight, in a bout of insomnia, i managed to watch 1 hour, 11 minutes and 58 seconds of what has to be the all-time King of all terrible, useless, obnoxious, stupid, insipid, horrid, putrid, fetid, utter shit movies: Transformers. Don’t ask me why i even tried. Just don’t. It’s not important. All i know is that my eyes actually smell like shit right now thanks to this visual bus-station toilet called a movie. I have in the past jokingly implied that violence should be visited upon those who have enjoyed such sad films. The joke is over. I hereby truly encourage people to hunt down every single person involved in the making of the Transformers movie (and their extended family members — including children and grandparents) and actually kill them. Literally. If you yourself enjoyed this movie (or were merely ambivalent about it), please consider killing yourself by nail-gunning your own eviscera to your own stupid face while sitting naked on a pail of bees you idiot.
Thank you for reading my movie review.