Hello, Elves and Sugarplums!
I hope everyone is doing good this holiday stinkerson.
I am doing fine despite having to nurse a whole bunch of stitches in my leg from our Winnipeg thrashathon on Friday. I think I had a little too much zeal saved up for that show. I was sick for 3 days straight and was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself to make sure I could give 'er at when it came time to rock. It worked but I ran myself up the side of a speaker and crashed into my amp gouging the bloody Christ Child right out of my leg. So that night, despite still being sick, Kenton from Fight the Monster and I sat in the Grace Hospital until 6:00 am waiting for me to get stitched up. not bad 2 stitches inside and 8 or 9 outside. I can't tell if the last blob is a stitch or blob-stink. haha. Anyway it felt like somebody sliced me with a knife and then took a hammer and gave me a charley horse in the cut! The show raised 3 or 4000 bucks for Sisters of Spirit and was a lot of fun despite the torture of my shorts "rim" dragging along my gaping wound for 30 minutes straight. Yowch! At the end of the night our soundperson Happy Chappy, who is 43 by the way, realized he only had one leg in his underwear and the rest was hanging out of the belt of his pants. hmmm.. I'm not sure how that happens? Oh well!
The tour went well despite us actually having to be in the States. ha. I had a good time. There were some highlights that stood out for me. The most obvious being the tug of war/burning/tearing of the flag between battling parties and our sponsor/mascot "Shitty Mcshake". Now a flag battle is one thing but beating a poor milkshake is unnecessary! Poor Shitty also realized how cruel the crowd could be when, on another evening, he decided to stage dive into the crowd and realized the crowd was an underwear hungry ravenous mass. Poor Shitty suddenly had two straws showing instead of just the one, if you know what I'm saying. At least next show Shitty showed up ready for the crowd wearing no underwear so he could not be de-gotched. A very smart man. As he said- "It wasn't a very dignified experience, but it sure was funny!" Too true. That is my final conclusion to my experiences in almost everything, to tell you the truth.
Anyway We gave our best at the shows. Many times I felt the beast rise in my heart, connecting me to the tunes. To tell the absolute truth, the first tour back for us is always a little less tight than we'd like, but what the hell. We were there to bring it!!
The highlights show-wise for me were Sacramento because I was really feeling it, L.A. even thought Jordy was cramping and Chris/Glenbert was sick, and Phoenix (until my basses both broke and left me singing a regret-it-as-soon-as-it-starts version of "Rocking In The Free World" and slinking away like a stinkerman into the night.)
At the end of the show when I heard a child's voice singing a tear came to my eye knowing there was at least partially a job well done. The child sang... "I went to a show and saw a milkshake and fries-The milkshake did a flip I got a penis in the eyes." hahah.... True story.
farewell, Everygoof... Be good, Santa comes and baby Jesus gets borned in a few days then there will be piece on earth and good will to men. I hope to get a Lego castle and a Barbie to go with my G.I. Joe doll. He just got back from Operation Iraqi Freedom and is now ready to get married and settle into civilian life. Please make sure I get a brush with her. I like combing her hair.
Look at Frosty Go! Crumpety-crump-crump....